Baby Archives - Helenasblog Lifestyle Blog Wed, 28 Feb 2024 09:51:42 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.3 https://helenasblog.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/cropped-summer-4388761_640-32x32.png Baby Archives - Helenasblog 32 32 Lacura BB Cream: A Budget-Friendly Beauty Essential https://helenasblog.co.uk/lacura-bb-cream/ Wed, 28 Feb 2024 09:51:41 +0000 https://helenasblog.co.uk/?p=137 Lacura BB Cream has become a game-changer in the beauty industry, offering an affordable and effective solution for those seeking a flawless complexion without the heavy feeling of traditional foundation. […]

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Lacura BB Cream has become a game-changer in the beauty industry, offering an affordable and effective solution for those seeking a flawless complexion without the heavy feeling of traditional foundation. This budget-friendly gem from Aldi’s beauty brand has garnered attention for its impressive performance, catering to various skin types and tones. In this comprehensive guide, we delve into the world of Lacura BB Cream, exploring its features, benefits, application techniques, and user experiences. Whether you’re a makeup enthusiast or someone looking to simplify their beauty routine, this article will equip you with all the necessary insights to make an informed decision about incorporating Lacura BB Cream into your daily regimen.

What is Lacura BB Cream?

Unveiling the Features

Lacura BB Cream has been making waves in the beauty community, and for good reason. Priced at just £5.99 for 50ml, this product offers incredible value without compromising on quality. Unlike traditional foundations, this BB cream provides a lightweight alternative that evens out skin tone while delivering essential skincare benefits. It contains vitamin C, mineral pigments, and SPF 15, ensuring that your skin not only looks radiant but also receives nourishment and protection throughout the day. The incorporation of these key ingredients sets Lacura BB Cream apart, making it a multifunctional beauty essential suitable for everyday use.

User Testimonials

Many individuals have expressed their delight with Lacura BB Cream, highlighting its seamless blendability and natural finish. One user shared, “I hate the feeling of foundation on my face and had only really worn powder before I tried this BB cream. Lacura is the beauty brand from Aldi and I’ve had some brilliant body lotions and stuff from them before so thought I’d try their BB cream which costs just £5.99 for 50ml. This BB cream is so good! It is the exact right colour for my skin, is a good moisturiser, evens out my skin tone and once it’s rubbed in I can’t feel it at all on my face.” Such positive experiences underscore the product’s ability to cater to diverse preferences and skin concerns.

User ExperienceFeedback
Lightweight TextureUsers appreciate the non-greasy and weightless feel of the BB cream, ideal for long wear.
Skin Tone AdaptabilityThe product seamlessly blends with various skin tones, providing a natural and radiant appearance.
Nourishing PropertiesThe inclusion of moisturizing elements ensures that the skin remains hydrated and supple throughout the day.

How can Application Techniques Achieve Flawless Results?

Preparing Your Canvas

Before applying Lacura BB Cream, it’s crucial to start with a clean and moisturized face. Begin by cleansing your skin to remove any impurities, followed by the application of a lightweight moisturizer suitable for your skin type. This step lays the foundation for a smooth and even application of the BB cream, enhancing its adherence and longevity.

Achieving Seamless Coverage

When applying Lacura BB Cream, a little goes a long way. Begin by dispensing a small amount onto your fingertips or a makeup sponge, then gently dab the product onto your skin. Using gentle, outward strokes, blend the BB cream evenly across your face, paying extra attention to areas that may require additional coverage. The lightweight formula allows for buildable coverage, enabling you to customize the level of perfection based on your preferences.

  • Coverage Areas: Focus on areas such as the T-zone, cheeks, and chin, ensuring that the BB cream is evenly distributed for a balanced complexion;
  • Blending Technique: Utilize circular motions or light tapping to blend the product seamlessly, avoiding harsh lines or uneven patches;
  • Setting the BB Cream: For prolonged wear, consider setting the BB cream with a translucent powder to minimize shine and enhance its longevity.
Girl doing facial massage

The Versatility of Lacura BB Cream

Daytime Elegance

Lacura BB Cream effortlessly transitions from daytime wear to evening elegance, making it a versatile addition to your beauty arsenal. During the day, the lightweight formula provides a fresh and natural look, perfect for casual outings or professional settings. Its ability to adapt to varying light conditions ensures that your complexion remains radiant and photo-ready throughout the day.

Effortless Evening Glam

As the day transitions into evening, Lacura BB Cream continues to shine, offering a seamless base for additional makeup applications. Whether you’re heading to a dinner date or a social gathering, the BB cream serves as an ideal canvas, allowing for the effortless blending of blush, bronzer, and highlighter. Its compatibility with other makeup products makes it a go-to choice for achieving a glamorous evening look without the heaviness of traditional foundations.

  • Transitioning Makeup: Easily incorporate eyeshadow, eyeliner, and lip products over the BB cream, creating a cohesive and polished evening makeup ensemble;
  • Longevity: The BB cream’s long-wearing formula ensures that your makeup remains intact throughout the evening, minimizing the need for frequent touch-ups;
  • Photography-Ready Finish: Capture stunning photographs with confidence, as the BB cream’s natural finish translates beautifully both in person and on camera.

Addressing Common Concerns: Choosing the Right Shade

Decoding the Color Palette

Selecting the right shade of Lacura BB Cream is essential for achieving a seamless and natural-looking complexion. The product offers a range of shades designed to complement various skin tones, catering to individuals with fair, medium, and deep complexions. Understanding your undertone—whether it’s warm, cool, or neutral—plays a pivotal role in determining the most suitable shade for your skin.

Undertone Identification

To identify your undertone, observe the veins on your wrist. If they appear predominantly green, you likely have a warm undertone. Conversely, if your veins appear more blue, you may have a cool undertone. Individuals with a mix of green and blue veins or veins that appear colorless typically have a neutral undertone. Armed with this knowledge, you can confidently select a Lacura BB Cream shade that harmonizes with your undertone, ensuring a harmonious and natural-looking finish.

UndertoneRecommended Shades
WarmHoney, Golden Beige
CoolIvory, Light Beige
NeutralNude, Buff

Incorporating Lacura BB Cream into Your Skincare Routine

Daily Hydration and Protection

Lacura BB Cream not only enhances your complexion but also contributes to your overall skincare routine. Infused with vitamin C and SPF 15, the product provides antioxidant protection and defense against environmental stressors. By incorporating this BB cream into your daily regimen, you can streamline your skincare and makeup routine, simplifying the process while reaping the benefits of added hydration and sun protection.

Enhancing Natural Beauty

The lightweight and natural finish of Lacura BB Cream aligns with the modern approach to beauty, emphasizing individuality and enhancing one’s natural features. By embracing this minimalist yet effective product, you can achieve a radiant and healthy-looking complexion, allowing your skin’s natural beauty to shine through while addressing specific concerns such as uneven skin tone and minor imperfections.

  • Simplified Regimen: Replace traditional foundation with Lacura BB Cream for a simplified and efficient beauty routine, saving time and effort without compromising on results;
  • Skincare Integration: Leverage the skincare benefits of the BB cream, incorporating it as a protective and nourishing element within your daily skincare ritual;
  • Confidence Boost: Embrace a confident and effortless look, celebrating your unique features and achieving a refined appearance with minimal effort.

Blue Riband Chocolate: A Sweet Treat to Complement Your Beauty Routine

Incorporating indulgent treats like Blue Riband Chocolate into your beauty routine can be a delightful way to pamper yourself while enhancing your skin’s natural radiance. While enjoying a piece of this delicious chocolate, you can also take a moment to appreciate the benefits it can offer your skin.

Pairing the luxurious experience of enjoying Blue Riband Chocolate with the practicality of incorporating Lacura BB Cream into your skincare and makeup routine creates a harmonious balance between indulgence and self-care. As you nourish your skin from the inside out with chocolate’s antioxidant properties and protect it with Lacura BB Cream’s SPF 15, you’re embracing a holistic approach to beauty that celebrates both inner and outer radiance. 

Conclusion

In conclusion, Lacura BB Cream stands as a testament to the evolving landscape of beauty, offering a practical and affordable solution for individuals seeking a balanced and effortless complexion. With its versatile nature, skincare benefits, and seamless application, this budget-friendly gem has secured its place as a staple in many beauty routines. Whether you’re drawn to its lightweight texture, skin-nourishing properties, or adaptability for various occasions, Lacura BB Cream proves to be a valuable addition to any makeup collection. By understanding its features, application techniques, shade selection, and integration into your skincare routine, you can harness the full potential of this multifunctional beauty essential, unlocking a newfound sense of confidence and radiance in your daily life.

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Canvas Escapade: Discovering Duinrell’s Delights https://helenasblog.co.uk/canvas-holidays-at-duinrell-campsite/ Wed, 28 Feb 2024 08:58:46 +0000 https://helenasblog.co.uk/?p=99 As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the tranquil Dutch countryside, our family’s journey to Duinrell Campsite began. With hearts brimming with anticipation and suitcases […]

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As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the tranquil Dutch countryside, our family’s journey to Duinrell Campsite began. With hearts brimming with anticipation and suitcases packed with excitement, we embarked on an odyssey from Cardiff to Wassenaar, Holland, in search of adventure, relaxation, and unforgettable moments. Little did we know that our Canvas holiday at Duinrell would surpass all expectations, weaving together a tapestry of experiences that would forever linger in our memories.

Embarking on an Epic Journey: What Awaits at Duinrell?

Embarking on an extensive journey from Cardiff to Wassenaar, Holland, our family eagerly anticipated our arrival at Duinrell Campsite. Greeted warmly by Canvas staff upon our arrival, we were ushered to our spacious caravan, pleasantly surprised by its comfort and amenities.

What is Canvas Holidays Duinrell? Settling into Accommodation

Our caravan, boasting three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a fully equipped kitchen, provided a cozy retreat after our long journey. Its proximity to the main plaza allowed easy access to essential amenities, making our stay convenient and enjoyable.

What Are Canvas Holidays Duinrell Campsite Comforts and Activities?

Within a short walk from our caravan, the main plaza offered a variety of amenities, including shops, restaurants, and a pub. While the Irish Pub lacked ambiance, the campsite provided free Wi-Fi in the plaza and computer access for a fee. The highlight of our stay, however, was the Tiki Waterpark, Europe’s largest indoor slide complex, where hours of aquatic fun awaited.

Duinrell is primarily known for its amusement park and water park attractions rather than a beach. Duinrell is located in Wassenaar, Netherlands, and while it does not have a traditional beachfront, it does have a popular water park called “Tikibad” which offers various slides and pools.

What Treasures Await Beyond Duinrell’s Borders?

Venturing beyond the campsite, we discovered the charm of Wassenaar’s village, with its quaint cafes, bustling high street, and budget-friendly Aldi supermarket. Nearby Leiden enchanted us with its picturesque canals and vibrant markets, while Amsterdam’s attractions beckoned with Canvas’s convenient park-and-ride guidance.

Where Tranquility Meets Turquoise Waters: How Does Duinrell’s Beach Fare?

A leisurely excursion to the nearby beach provided a welcome change of pace, despite the litter strewn across the sand. Nevertheless, the expansive shoreline and pristine sea offered a tranquil retreat, perfect for unwinding and soaking up the sun.

Farewell Duinrell: What Memories Do We Carry?

As our time at Duinrell Campsite came to an end, we reflected on the countless memories created during our stay. From thrilling waterpark adventures to exploring charming villages and bustling cities, our Canvas holiday had exceeded all expectations, leaving us with a longing to return for another unforgettable experience.

In finale

As we bid farewell to Duinrell Campsite, our hearts heavy with the weight of cherished memories and hearts light with the joy of shared experiences, we knew that our Canvas holiday had been nothing short of extraordinary. From the laughter-filled days spent splashing in the Tiki Waterpark to the leisurely strolls through quaint villages and bustling cities, each moment had been a testament to the magic of travel and the bonds of family. And as we turned our gaze towards the horizon, already dreaming of our next adventure, we knew that Duinrell would forever hold a special place in our hearts.

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Luscious Lips with No 7 Moisture Drench Lipstick https://helenasblog.co.uk/no7-moisture-drench-mulberry/ Wed, 28 Feb 2024 08:51:15 +0000 https://helenasblog.co.uk/?p=90 A few weeks ago, Boots enticed makeup enthusiasts with an enticing offer: receive a complimentary set of No7 goodies upon purchasing two No7 products. This promotion prompted our protagonist to […]

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A few weeks ago, Boots enticed makeup enthusiasts with an enticing offer: receive a complimentary set of No7 goodies upon purchasing two No7 products. This promotion prompted our protagonist to delve into the world of No7 cosmetics, leading to an unexpected journey of lipstick discovery.

Boots’ Tempting Deal: What about No 7 Moisture Drench Lipstick?

Boots’ promotion piqued the interest of many, including our protagonist, who saw it as an opportunity to both replenish their makeup essentials and explore new products. With mascara on their shopping list, they eagerly took advantage of the offer, anticipating the thrill of discovering new favorites.

Encounter with Mulberry

Among the complimentary items in the No7 gift set was the Moisture Drench lipstick in Mulberry. This particular shade caught our protagonist’s eye, though they initially harbored doubts about its suitability. With only one other lipstick in their collection, also from the No7 range, they hesitated, uncertain if they could pull off such a bold color.

Surprising Revelation

Upon applying Mulberry, our protagonist was pleasantly surprised by its transformation on the lips. Despite its intimidating appearance in the tube, the lipstick revealed itself to be more subdued, offering a sheer wash of color that was wearable for various occasions. This revelation challenged their preconceived notions and sparked a newfound confidence in experimenting with different lip looks.

Versatile Color Build-Up

What truly impressed our protagonist was the lipstick’s versatility. They discovered that Mulberry could be easily built up to achieve a deeper, more intense color payoff. This flexibility allowed them to tailor their lip look according to their mood and the occasion, making Mulberry a versatile addition to their makeup arsenal.

Hydration and Comfort

Beyond its aesthetic appeal, the No7 lipstick boasted hydrating properties that left our protagonist’s lips feeling nourished and comfortable throughout wear. Unlike many lip products notorious for drying out lips, Mulberry felt luxurious and moisturizing, thanks to its innovative formula.

Embracing Vibrancy

Embracing Mulberry as their newfound lip companion, our protagonist welcomed the opportunity to inject a splash of vibrancy into their makeup routine. Departing from their usual neutral lip shades, they reveled in the transformative power of color, using Mulberry to express their unique style and personality.

Conclusion

Boots’ No7 promotion not only introduced our protagonist to a range of high-quality cosmetics but also sparked a journey of self-discovery through lipstick experimentation. With Mulberry by their side, they embraced the beauty of stepping out of their comfort zone and embracing the unexpected, one swipe of color at a time.

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Transform Your Curls with Flora & Curl https://helenasblog.co.uk/flora-and-curl/ Wed, 28 Feb 2024 08:43:29 +0000 https://helenasblog.co.uk/?p=84 In the world of curly hair care, finding products that deliver on their promises can be a daunting task. With an abundance of options claiming to cater to curly hair […]

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In the world of curly hair care, finding products that deliver on their promises can be a daunting task. With an abundance of options claiming to cater to curly hair needs, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and unsure of where to start. As someone on a quest to discover the best products for their curly hair, the journey often involves trial and error, with each new product promising a solution to common curly hair woes.

One such brand that has caught the attention of many curly-haired individuals is Flora & Curl. Dedicated to creating plant-based hair products specifically tailored for curly hair and free from harsh chemicals, Flora & Curl aims to simplify curly hair care routines with a concise range of offerings. With the promise of products suitable for all curly hair types, it’s no wonder that many curly-haired individuals have been eager to put Flora & Curl to the test.

The Journey Begins: How to Discover Flora and Curl?

In her ongoing pursuit of discovering curly girl approved products tailored to her hair’s needs, our protagonist stumbled across Flora & Curl—a company that seemed to tick all the boxes. With a focus on plant-based ingredients and a commitment to simplifying curly hair care routines, Flora & Curl appeared to offer a solution to the overwhelming array of products on the market.

Eager to put Flora & Curl to the test, our protagonist decided to start with the Moisture Discovery Kit—a curated selection of mini versions of Flora & Curl’s products. While the price point was slightly higher than other brands she had tried, she was intrigued by the opportunity to sample a variety of products without committing to full-sized versions. Additionally, the kit came with a free sample of the hair butter, adding extra value to her purchase.

Navigating Through the Product Range

Armed with her Discovery Kit, our protagonist set out to explore Flora & Curl’s product range. From shampoos to leave-in conditioners to styling products, Flora & Curl offered a comprehensive selection designed to meet the diverse needs of curly hair.

  1. African Citrus Bloom Shampoo: The first stop on her journey, this shampoo captivated her with its invigorating citrus fragrance. She noted its ability to cleanse without stripping natural oils, leaving her curls feeling refreshed and vibrant. 
  • Pros: Delightful scent, gentle cleansing;
  • Cons: High price point for the volume.
  1. Rose & Honey Milk Leave-in Detangler: This product impressed with its lightweight formula and ease of detangling. It provided ample hydration, making her curls soft and manageable. 
  • Pros: Effective detangling, pleasant aroma;
  • Cons: Required a generous amount for thicker hair.
  1. Jasmine Oasis Hydrating Hair Mist: Ideal for mid-week hydration boosts, this mist revitalized her curls without weighing them down. 
  • Pros: Lightweight, refreshing;
  • Cons: The effect was short-lived on very dry hair.
  1. Sweet Hibiscus Curl Activating Lotion: She loved how this lotion defined her curls, adding bounce and shine. 
  • Pros: Great curl activation, non-greasy;
  • Cons: Some buildup with frequent use.
  1. Coconut Mint Scalp Refresh Shampoo: Targeting scalp health, it provided a cooling sensation but was somewhat lacking in moisture for her hair. 
  • Pros: Soothing scalp treatment;
  • Cons: Not as hydrating as hoped.
  1. Flower Garden Hair Butter: A rich, nourishing butter that is sealed in moisture effectively. However, she found it too heavy for her fine curls. 
  • Pros: Deeply moisturizing;
  • Cons: Too dense for certain curl types.
  1. Honey & Rose Water Curl Defining Gel: She was excited for this styling gel but found it didn’t hold her curls as long as she’d liked. 
  • Pros: Natural ingredients, no flaking;
  • Cons: Limited hold for certain styles.

As she delved into each product, our protagonist documented her experiences, noting the pros and cons of each. From the delightful fragrance of the African Citrus Bloom Shampoo to the lightweight formula of the Rose & Honey Milk Leave-in Detangler, each product offered something unique. However, not every product lived up to expectations, with some falling short in terms of performance or suitability for her hair type. Her journey through Flora & Curl’s range was both enlightening and enjoyable, offering a comprehensive insight into the potential and limitations of each product for her specific curly hair needs.

Overview of Flora & Curl Product Experience

ProductSizeExperience
African Citrus Bloom Shampoo60ml1. Delightful fragrance, but the scent alone didn’t justify the premium price.
Curl Refresh Clay Wash50g2. Initial impressive results, but subsequent usage lacked consistency; attributed to hurried application.
Rose & Honey Milk Leave-in Detangler60ml3. Favorite product; lightweight formula provided moisture without weighing down hair; immediate purchase of full-sized bottle.
African Citrus Bloom Hair Oil60ml4. Fragrant and versatile; unlike previous oils, provided subtle sheen without greasiness; integration into hair care routine.
Floral Hydration Hair Mist60ml5. Failed to meet expectations; offered little benefit and left overpowering floral scent; unsuitable for hair texture.
Flower Garden Hair Styling Butter55ml6. Heavy for fine, low porosity hair; resulted in greasy residue rather than desired definition.

Key Takeaways and Recommendations

  1. The Discovery Kit proved invaluable in navigating Flora & Curl’s product range and identifying suitable options. It offered a curated selection of their best-sellers, allowing our protagonist to trial each product without committing to full-size purchases immediately. This approach not only saved her money but also provided a comprehensive understanding of what worked best for her unique hair texture and needs. The kit included detailed instructions and tips for use, which enhanced her experience by guiding her on how to maximize the benefits of each product. Through this process, she discovered the perfect regimen, tailoring her routine to her hair’s specific requirements;
  1. The combination of Flora & Curl’s leave-in conditioner with Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie showed promising results in maintaining moisture balance and providing hold. This dynamic duo became a cornerstone of her hair care routine, synergistically working to nourish and define her curls. The leave-in conditioner’s lightweight hydration primed her hair, while the Curl Enhancing Smoothie locked in moisture and provided the necessary hold for her style to last throughout the day. This blend not only enhanced her curls’ natural pattern but also protected them from environmental stressors, leaving her hair feeling soft, supple, and full of life;
  1. Personalized experimentation is crucial in finding the most effective curly hair care solutions. Our protagonist learned that while recommendations are a great starting point, the unique nature of curly hair means one size does not fit all. Through trial and error, she was able to fine-tune her hair care regimen, mixing and matching products to find the perfect balance for her curls. This journey of discovery taught her the importance of patience and perseverance in curly hair care, highlighting that the key to success lies in understanding and catering to her hair’s individual needs. Her proactive approach led to a deeper appreciation of her curls and a more effective care routine;
  1. Recommended products: Rose & Honey Milk Leave-in Detangler and African Citrus Bloom Hair Oil for lightweight hydration and subtle sheen. These products stood out for their exceptional performance in her tailored hair care routine. The Leave-in Detangler effortlessly untangled knots, making her hair manageable and ready for styling, while the Hair Oil provided the finishing touch, sealing in moisture and adding a luminous sheen without weighing her curls down. Their complementary action ensured her hair remained hydrated and vibrant, showcasing the natural beauty of her curls. These recommendations come with the confidence that they can offer others a starting point in their own journey toward optimal curly hair health.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the journey of exploring Flora & Curl’s products has been both enlightening and rewarding. While not every product may have been a perfect fit, the experience has provided valuable insights into what works best for our protagonist’s curly hair. Through trial and error, she has discovered new favorites and reaffirmed the importance of personalized hair care routines.

As she continues on her curly hair journey, armed with newfound knowledge and favorite products in hand, our protagonist looks forward to embracing her natural curls with confidence and style, thanks to Flora & Curl’s curly girl approved offerings.

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What Not to Say to a NICU Mum – 9 Things to Avoid https://helenasblog.co.uk/what-not-to-say-to-a-nicu-mum-9-things-to-avoid/ Fri, 08 Jan 2021 12:47:00 +0000 https://helenasblog.co.uk/?p=30 Having had two premature babies, each needing weeks of neonatal care, I thought I was just about qualified to write a list of what not to say to a NICU mum or dad.

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Having had two premature babies, each needing weeks of neonatal care, I thought I was just about qualified to write a list of what not to say to a NICU mum or dad. Hopefully this will help if you have a friend or family member who is going through this tough experience.

1. “When will you get home?”

This is a tricky one to answer. Do you mean when will I get home or do you mean when will baby get home, because the chances are I will get home much sooner than baby. In the worst cases, mum and dad might not actually be sure baby is going to come home at all.

Especially in the first few hours and days after baby is born, when the situation might be changing every 5 minutes, this question is not helpful. Doctors also don’t like to speculate further than “we aim for due date”. Even if things are going well, they never change this answer as things can change in a heartbeat.

So, no matter how many times you ask a parent, they will not be able to tell you anything other than due date and each time you ask will just remind them how far away that feels.

After 5 weeks in the neonatal unit with Harris, we had no idea he was even close to coming home until the day before and even then we thought it would be a handful of days, not just one.

Instead try saying “however long baby is in hospital, know that I am here to help. I will drop off some food so you can have something warm for dinner tonight”.

2. “Have you asked if you can stay overnight?”

Of course I’ve asked that. Do you really think I want to leave my baby behind? Neonatal units in the UK just don’t have space for every baby to have their parents with them overnight. Our local unit has three bedrooms reserved for babies who are a night or two away from going home so parents can stay and get used to looking after baby alone, knowing staff are just outside if they need support. There are significantly more than three babies in the unit at any one time.

Leaving your baby is the absolute worst feeling in the world. You never expect to be coming home having given birth without your baby so every parent will most definitely have asked if they can stay.

Instead say “I can’t imagine how you are feeling having to leave your baby. I’m here if you want to talk.”

3. “Why don’t you just sleep on a chair so you can stay all night?”

“Just”. Saying “just” makes it seem so easy and makes mums feel like they are not putting enough effort in. It’s not really a case of “just” sleeping on a chair beside your baby’s incubator or cot.

After you’ve given birth you are exhausted. Most new mums are able to lie in bed and cuddle and feed their new baby for the first few hours, even days. But NICU mums have to move between the post natal ward and neonatal ward only to sit and look at their baby from an uncomfortable chair.

Lots of mums have had a traumatic birth and are far from being well themselves. If baby was going to be in for a night or two, I’m sure most mum’s would “just” sleep on a chair if they were physically able. But when you know it’s going to be weeks or months, sleeping on a chair really isn’t an option. Baby needs a healthy mum who isn’t running on zero sleep.

Instead say “It’s awful that you are separated from baby, I can only imagine how hard that is.”

4. “At least you can have a full night sleep while baby is still in hospital!”

Um, no. Just no. Aside from the fact that it’s difficult to sleep when you are separated from your new baby who is gravely ill in hospital, most NICU mums will be waking up to an alarm every three hours to pump milk for their sick baby. Have you got any idea how much harder it is to get back to sleep when you’ve been woken by an alarm at 2am compared to being woken by a baby?

Not only have you been woken by an alarm, but you have to wake up enough to pump, then go downstairs to put the milk in the fridge and sterilise the pump kit ready for the 5am alarm call. Plus you’ve probably phoned the unit for an update on how baby is doing.

Not to mention that fact that instead of relaxing at home during the day and napping with baby, you are having to travel to the hospital to sit on that uncomfortable chair, wishing you could cuddle your baby. So no, getting more sleep is definitely not an upside to baby being in NICU.

Instead say “Wow, you are doing an amazing job. Getting up to pump must be so tough but think of all the goodness you are giving to baby”.

5. “My friend’s cousin’s dentist’s son had a baby born at 31 weeks too. He was home from hospital after 4 weeks so you probably won’t be there much longer.”

I know people say things like this to try and make you feel better but comparing your baby to another is far from productive. All babies are born with different issues and all babies develop at their own rate. When it gets to 4 weeks and your baby still isn’t close to being sent home, it only makes you feel worse. How come my baby chose the short straw and needed to stay longer than this other baby?

Instead just say “baby is beautiful, I can’t wait to meet them”.

6. “I would have loved it if my baby had been taken away and looked after that first night. It would have been great to have had a good sleep.”

Someone said this to me just the other day and it made me feel so angry. How could she not appreciate how special those first few hours and days are with a new baby? I wish so much that I’d been able to spend those precious moments with my babies and it just seems so unfair that someone can say that they wish the hadn’t had to. Plus, see above regarding the “good sleep”.

Instead, just don’t mention it. Even if that’s how you feel, a NICU mum hasn’t been able to make that choice and would probably do anything to be able to cuddle and hold their baby as much as parents of full term babies can.

7. “I’m so uncomfortable, I wish baby would just arrive now.”

I almost didn’t include this one as it’s such a common thing for pregnant women to say and I didn’t want to offend anyone. However, I really think it needs to be mentioned. I hear it way too often, and although I know that it’s just a thing that people say without actually meaning, I’m never quite sure what to say in response. It sometimes seems like people don’t appreciate how hard it is having a baby in NICU.

I can only imagine how uncomfortable being heavily pregnant must be. I was already starting to feel uncomfortable with my small bumps, but surely it can’t be worse than spending weeks or months in hospital, your baby undergoing numerous medical procedures and being unable to comfort or hold your baby properly? At least being uncomfortably pregnant only affects you, not baby, siblings and extended family.

There’s also the fact that NICU mums are probably grieving that missed third trimester. Even after my second premature birth, which was half expected although not quite as early as it actually happened, I felt robbed of my bump and didn’t feel at all ready for baby to be here. I still feel cheated that I missed out on the last heavily pregnant stage and it makes me sad hearing people see wish it away. (Of course, this is a blanket statement and obviously there will be cases where mum or baby is actually unwell and not just uncomfortable. I’m only referring to cases where there are no medical issues, just a healthy pregnancy.)

Instead feel free to complain about how uncomfortable you are, I’m sure your NICU mum friend will be able to empathise, just don’t add the throwaway comment of “I wish baby would just arrive now”.

8. “At least you didn’t have to give birth to a bigger baby so it won’t have hurt as much as if baby had been full term.”

It’s impossible to compare the pain of childbirth with another person. Of my two births, I can safely say that I found the birth of my second, smaller baby much more painful than first time round. So the theory seems to fall down.

I think the reason it felt more painful is because I was so worried about him arriving 9 weeks early. That’s more than two months before he was supposed to be here. My first baby was 6 weeks early and while that was scary, I had been assured by doctors that it wasn’t really “that” early in terms of prematurity and the likelihood was that everything would be fine.

Nine weeks, however, felt so much earlier than six, and although doctors were optimistic I didn’t get the same feeling of confidence from them. I’d also been through the neonatal unit before and knew during labour that this time we’d in for longer. With a toddler at home who I hadn’t fully prepared for baby arriving right now and a hospital on the verge of lockdown, I think my body was doing everything it could to hold Harris in and I just couldn’t relax into the hypnobirthing breathing in the same way I had with Dylan.

Giving birth early also means that the birth plan, if you’d even got as far as writing one, goes out of the window. You are faced with giving birth hooked up to every monitor going, with what feels like half the hospital either in the room or waiting outside. You also know that your baby is going to need immediate medical attention and you likely won’t be able to see, let alone hold, them.

So the panic and worry isn’t conducive to a relaxing, minimal pain birth experience, no matter what size baby is. Also, many NICU mums have had sections as the birth is often due to a medical emergency and I don’t think the size of baby has any baring on the pain caused by that.

Instead say “giving birth so early must have been terrifying.”

9. “You don’t like staying pregnant do you?”

Why do people think it’s ok to say this? I get this one lots and I even had it from a few of the nurses in the neonatal unit. While I get that it’s probably meant as a joke to lighten the mood, it’s really not something I find funny.

I never wanted to give birth early and would have done anything to stay pregnant so my babies and family didn’t have to go through the trauma of weeks and weeks in hospital. I wish more than anything that I’d been able to finish my pregnancies normally, excited and counting down the days for the arrival of my healthy babies, instead of having all my birthing choices taken away from me and being petrified during my labour that my babies would be born horribly unwell or worse.

Instead, don’t make a joke, offer support either emotional or practical.

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Breastfeeding With IGT – Heartbreaking but Fulfilling https://helenasblog.co.uk/breastfeeding-with-igt-heartbreaking-fulfilling/ Sun, 13 Dec 2020 12:50:00 +0000 https://helenasblog.co.uk/?p=33 IGT stands for insufficient glandular tissue and is a condition where a woman’s breasts have not got enough tissue to produce a full milk supply to sustain her baby.

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What is IGT?

IGT stands for insufficient glandular tissue and is a condition where a woman’s breasts have not got enough tissue to produce a full milk supply to sustain her baby. It is difficult to diagnose as there are so many other factors which might cause low milk supply. Breastfeeding with IGT is not necessarily impossible but it can be extremely challenging both physically and mentally. You can get more information here on the Kellymom website.

Breastfeeding Dylan

I never managed to get to a full supply with Dylan. I had lots of complications during my pregnancy and birth, plus Dylan was premature. All of these factors can be a cause of low milk supply. I took galactagogues, baked lactation cookies, pumped like crazy, and fed Dylan at every opportunity but my milk supply was just never enough.

I felt like a total failure. Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world and I couldn’t make enough milk to feed my baby. I was devastated and every bottle of formula I had to give just reminded me all over again that I wasn’t able to feed my own baby. I hated having to give formula when I was out as I felt that people must be judging me and thinking that I hadn’t tried hard enough to breastfeed. I don’t know why I thought that, as I would never, ever think that about someone else but my hormones were crazy and I was so upset by the whole situation. I hated having to explain to others that I had to top up Dylan just for them to tell me to eat more porridge or avoid peppermint tea. Believe me, if porridge could have fixed my milk supply I’d have had enough milk to feed 6 babies!

I had a feeling there was something more going on, as I literally was trying everything, and nothing seemed to help even a little bit. I started reading everything I could about low milk supply. When I read about IGT, I felt like it described me perfectly but, because of all of the other complications, the doctors and infant feeding specialists I saw thought that IGT was unlikely and I was never able to find anyone to take my concerns seriously.

After Dylan started solids we were able to gradually reduce the amount of formula he had as he took more food. By the time he was around 9 months, we were able to get to the point of solely breastfeeding. I ended up feeding Dylan until he was 18 months old when he decided to stop of his own accord, probably due to my milk changing due to me becoming pregnant again. It was the best feeling being able to comfort my baby through feeding, even if I wasn’t able to exclusively breastfeed and I’m so grateful we were able to continue for so long.

Pregnancy Number 2

Early on in our second pregnancy, we decided to visit a lactation consultant. I hoped it would either put my mind at rest or help me come up with a plan to manage low milk supply with this baby. I was able to find a lactation consultant – Arielle – who had recently moved from the states to Aberdeenshire, so we booked a consultation with her.

Before our first meeting, I filled out a detailed questionnaire giving information about my previous pregnancy, birth, health records etc. During the consultation, we discussed my worries about having low milk supply with my next baby and she actually looked at my boobs. With all the problems I had last time, nobody had ever done this before! Although many professionals had seen me breastfeed, none of them had looked at my breasts without a baby attached. Arielle said right away that she thought I had markers for IGT. I was so relieved that someone was finally listening to me and she reassured me that together we would come up with a plan to help me provide our next baby with as much breastmilk as possible.

The first step was to get some blood tests to rule out other causes of low supply. Arielle wrote a letter which I passed on to my GP and she agreed to run some tests. The results showed that I had low prolactin levels for someone in their second trimester of pregnancy.

I had mixed feelings when I found out the results. On the one hand I was sad that I would definitely never have a normal breastfeeding experience with future children, but on the other hand I felt overwhelming relief that I hadn’t been doing something wrong the first time – I had actually been breastfeeding with IGT. I wasn’t going mad in thinking I had this rare condition. My breasts were never going to work, no matter how much porridge I’d eaten or how unstressed I’d been.

Another Premature Birth

Harris was born 9 weeks early, so unfortunately I had some of the same issued I’d had with Dylan. He wasn’t able to feed right away and I wasn’t able to hold him in the way most people can hold their newborns. Luckily this time I was prepared and I started following Arielle’s suggestions as soon as I could.

Establishing my Supply

Within an hour of Harris being born, before I was able to see him in the neonatal unit, I started doing some nipple stimulation. I got set up with a pump and began pumping 10 times a day. Each time I pumped I would also hand express for 5-10 minutes and found that I got as much, if not more, through hand expressing as I did using the pump. I also began taking goats rue and alfalfa.

I kept up my pumping routine until Harris was well enough to start trying to feed directly. My volumes were gradually increasing but were nowhere close to the volumes I saw other women producing in the expressing room. It was so demoralising seeing the full bottles others were pumping and to hear so many women complaining about having an oversupply. I know having an oversupply comes with its own challenges but there’s nothing worse than hearing people moan about having too much milk when you aren’t able to produce enough for your baby. Especially in a neonatal unit where there is so much focus on how essential breastmilk is for premature babies.

As when Dylan was in the unit, we used donor breastmilk to make up the difference between what Harris required and what I was making. There were about 2 days when I actually made the full amount he needed and I was so happy!

Support on the Neonatal Unit

I didn’t really want to mention to the neonatal staff that I would be breastfeeding with IGT to begin with. I felt almost embarrassed that my body was failing again after it had already failed to carry both of my babies to term. (I had a couple of people light-heartedly say “oh you really don’t like carrying babies to term do you?!” when they found out Harris was my second premmie. I know nothing was meant by it but this comment actually really upset me.) I’m glad I did tell them as most of the staff were so supportive of my efforts to breastfeed and were genuinely interested in finding out more.

One lady from the infant feeding team, Kate, remembered me from my time in the unit with Dylan and she was just brilliant this time round as well. She’d spent lots of time helping me with Dylan and when I told her about IGT she went home and read up on it so she was able to better support me with Harris. Lots of the nurses were interested to hear about breastfeeding with IGT as they hadn’t heard about it before.

I only had one negative experience with an unsupportive staff member, someone from the infant feeding team. This lady was very patronising and condescending. When I told her that I had IGT and would be unlikely to get a full milk supply, she dismissed me and said that barely any women are unable to make enough milk to feed their babies.

While this may be true, it wasn’t for her to say that I wasn’t one of those women, especially as I’d told her I’d been seeing a lactation consultant. She hadn’t heard of IGT and when I told her that it stood for insufficient glandular tissue she just looked at my chest and said dismissively “oh, that just means you’ve got small breasts. You’ll have to feed more often”. Actually no, that’s not what it means at all. Yes, I happen to have small breasts, but that has nothing to do with my ability to produce milk. Plenty of people with smaller breasts are able to maintain a full supply and people with larger breasts can suffer from IGT. Suffice to say I avoided that lady as much as possible for the rest of our time in the unit.

Breastfeeding Harris

Harris started showing interest in my breasts at just a couple of weeks old but wasn’t strong enough to actually feed until he was around 4 weeks old. I wanted to try and avoid a nipple shield this time round as I’d had such trouble weaning Dylan off it, but just as before, Harris wasn’t able to feed without one. The shield stimulates the suck reflex so reminds baby to keep sucking and swallowing. They are often recommended for premature babies. Without the nipple shield, Harris would suck once and then fall asleep.

Once we started properly trying to breastfeed using the shield, I adjusted my pumping routine so that I would attempt a breastfeed before pumping. Depending on how the breastfeed attempt went, Harris would have somewhere between half and all of his usual volume of milk through his tube. This meant that I was only pumping 8 times a day but meant that my breasts were as full as possible when it came to a feed so Harris had the best chance of getting milk. I was really pleased to have Arielle’s advice at this point as I was getting differing advice from various nurses, some of whom I don’t think actually had any specific feeding training.

Unfortunately due to Covid, I wasn’t able to meet with Arielle but she was great at responding to my many messages and helped me out so much. She recommended that I buy a Spectra S1 pump and she showed me how to measure my breasts for properly fitting pump shields. It turned out I’d been using totally the wrong size with Dylan which no doubt added to my supply issues.

We introduced a bottle in the hospital this time round as we knew I’d unlikely be able to get a full supply. We ended up doing this earlier than I would have liked because of Covid. We didn’t want Harris in hospital for a minute longer than necessary as there were rumours of further visiting restrictions and of course travelling back and forth from the hospital was opening us up to risk of infection. I don’t think introducing the bottle early made any actual difference to our feeding journey, all of my concerns about the bottle were just in my head.

After around a week of attempting breastfeeds and bottles, Harris had his tube removed so he would be solely relying on breast and bottle for his milk. This was a really big step and I was so nervous. At the point Kate suggested that we take out Harris’ tube, I thought we’d have at least another week with the tube as I didn’t feel like Harris was feeding particularly well. Kate thought we should try and push him as she knew how much I wanted to get home and how much I was missing Dylan. The tube was removed on the Friday afternoon and by Sunday night I ended up having a meltdown because Harris had lost weight and was completely refusing to take a bottle.

I never feel a let down when breastfeeding so I wasn’t sure he was getting anything from me at all as he wasn’t swallowing consistently. I thought he must be starving. The nurse on shift was so lovely when I couldn’t stop sobbing, which obviously made me cry even more. I’d been staying in the unit until around 10.30pm each night to make sure I was there for as many feeds as possible and returning by 7.30am. Looking back, I was totally exhausted; which she could see. She persuaded me to leave early and promised me that she’d put Harris’ tube back in if he refused another bottle. I was just so worried that he was hungry and as much as I wanted to get us both home soon, I didn’t want him going hungry.

When I phoned the unit first thing on Monday morning, I was elated to hear that Harris has taken 3 bottles in the night. It turned out that he liked the milk warmer than they usually made it. The nurse only found out because she sterilised the bottle right before feeding him so it was hot enough to heat the milk slightly. On Monday night I was allowed a room on the unit with Harris and by Tuesday afternoon we were both home. I couldn’t believe how quickly things had turned round.

Back at Home

Once Harris was home, I continued pumping and topping up after every feed. As well as using the bottle for top ups, I also used an SNS (Supplemental Nursing System) as much as possible so I could feed the top up at the breast. This also helps with milk production as there is more stimulation. It wasn’t easy, especially with a toddler waking multiple times a night on top of my 3 hourly triple feeding sessions. Mik was amazing and dealt with all of Dylan’s wakes, even though he was working all week. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without him.

Harris became better at breastfeeding and we were gradually able to cut out bottle top ups. We have a baby scales at home so weighed Harris every day or 2 to make sure he was continuing to gain. If he gained well for 4 or 5 days, we cut out one of his 60ml bottles. Each time we cut out a bottle, I cut out the pumping sessions so I was able to free up time to spend with Dylan. It got to the point where he was down to 2 x 60ml bottles a day which is better than I’d ever hoped for. When I tried to drop further than this, Harris stopped gaining weight so at this point I stopped pumping altogether as I knew I’d maxed out my supply. Harris was around three months old by this point.

Harris is now 9 months old and is enjoying solids as well as a combination of breastmilk and formula. We still keep an eye on his weight, usually once or twice a week, but he’s definitely turned a corner since he started on solids and we’ve been able to reduce the amount of formula he is having as he’s gaining weight so well and not looking for as much milk.

Making the Best of it

For me, the worst part of breastfeeding with IGT is the sadness of not being able to have the normal breastfeeding experience I’d dreamed of. I hate the fact that on top of not being able to keep my babies safe inside until they were ready to be born, I then failed them even more by not being able to feed them exclusively from my broken breasts. There’s also the practical side of it. Having to make up bottles, sterlise bottles, make sure I’ve got enough formula if we’re out and about. This time round I also felt so guilty about all the pumping I had to do to establish my supply as I had barely any time for Dylan. It was worth it in the long run though as now I’m able to go out and about with Dylan and Harris during the day without having to worry about formula.

Breastfeeding with IGT is a challenge but for me it’s been worth it. I love the amazing bond I have with my boys and every day I get to feed them is a bonus. If you are struggling with low milk supply and think you may be affected by IGT, I would suggest getting hold of a copy of Making More Milk. It’s got so much information which can help you determine what might be causing low supply. I’d also highly recommend speaking to a lactation consultant who has the skills and knowledge to support you properly. Not being able to feed your baby as you’d planned is heart breaking but I’ve found that having an expert to listen to me and help me make decisions has been invaluable and made me feel so much better about breastfeeding this time around. A big thank you to Arielle for all of her support!

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Harris’ Arrival – Having A Premature Baby During A Global Pandemic https://helenasblog.co.uk/harris-arrival-having-a-premature-baby-during-a-global-pandemic/ Sat, 30 May 2020 12:54:00 +0000 https://helenasblog.co.uk/?p=36 Having a premature baby is hard, but having one during a global pandemic was on another level. Harris arrived 9 weeks early.

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Having a premature baby is hard, but having one during a global pandemic was on another level. Harris arrived 9 weeks early. He just had to do one better than his big brother by arriving even earlier and during the coronavirus pandemic.

During my pregnancy with Dylan, I developed pre-eclampsia which led to him being born ahead of schedule. This meant that when I was pregnant with Harris, I had extra monitoring and was seen by the consultant throughout my pregnancy. Aside from a bit of sickness early on and some back/hip pain as the pregnancy progressed, my blood pressure was behaving and everything seemed to be going really well up until my waters broke one Thursday evening while I was sat on the sofa.

I was 30 weeks, 5 days pregnant and not at all ready to meet our baby. We had mentally prepared ourselves that we might end up having a premature baby again this time, but we never imagined he would be even earlier than last time. The further along we got with my blood pressure behaving, the more we let ourselves believe that this time we’d manage to get closer to full term so it was a total shock when my waters went with no warning.

We quickly phoned Mik’s brother to come down and watch Dylan while we went to the hospital. Dylan was already asleep and I felt so bad leaving him as I knew I probably wouldn’t be there in the morning for him. I’d never been away from him for a night before and had thought I’d have more time to prepare – both him and me.

On arrival at the pregnancy triage ward, they quickly confirmed that my waters had indeed broken. I was surprised that there wasn’t much urgency from the nurses and midwives but they explained that just because my waters had broken, it didn’t necessarily mean I was going to go into labour right away. Sometimes it could be weeks and the waters aren’t essential at this stage of pregnancy. I had no idea and started to calm down a little at this point.

They started me on a course of antibiotics as one of the main purposes of your waters at this stage is to prevent infection and kept me in overnight for observation. I was also given a course of steroids to help mature baby’s lungs, just in case. I ended up staying in hospital until Saturday evening when they decided to let me go home as it didn’t seem as though I was going to go into labour any time soon.

Early Sunday morning I started feeling cramps but as I’d had cramps in the hospital which turned out not to be contractions I didn’t think too much of it. During breakfast they seemed to become more regular and we realised we needed to get into hospital. Mik’s mum had come to stay after my waters broke so we were sorted with childcare for Dylan and were able to get into hospital by 7.30am. I’d only been back home for 12 hours since being discharged.

Back in the triage unit I was hooked up to a monitor. Baby was happy and it appeared that yes, I was in the early stages of labour. I started trying to do the breathing techniques from The Calm Birth School book but to be honest I was panicking quite a lot because of how early this was happening so my breathing was a bit all over the place. I’d been so hoping for a normal term birth this time round. With this baby coming earlier than Dylan did, it meant an even longer stay on the neonatal unit and more potential health issues and all I could do was worry.

All of a sudden, after about 2 hours on the triage ward, I felt baby move down suddenly. I knew he was coming and Mik ran to get the midwife. The midwife looked shocked when he examined me and I was immediately wheeled through to the labour ward. I was already at 10cm. Harris was born at 10.30am and I was allowed a 10 second cuddle before he was whisked away by the neonatal team. I didn’t get to cuddle Dylan so this was a bonus. I was in total shock that I’d just had a baby so quickly and so much earlier than planned and couldn’t stop shaking.

Throughout this pregnancy, I’d been more nervous about delivering the placenta than delivering the baby as last time it hadn’t gone well. Thankfully all went smoothly this time and I was wheeled down to the neonatal unit just an hour and a half after Harris was born. This was much better than the 9 agonizing hours I had to wait to meet Dylan.

Now that Harris was here, we had to face the fact that he’d be in hospital for a long time yet. He needed breathing support to begin with and needed time to develop the ability to suck and swallow before we’d be allowed home. Dylan was 6 weeks early and had been in for 3 weeks so we thought it would be at least 6 weeks until we got Harris home. It was longer than we’d hoped for but at least we had our mums staying with us to help with Dylan and he’d be able to come in to visit every day. Or so we thought.

Harris was born on March 15th which was before lockdown started in Scotland but the neonatal unit had already started limiting visitors to parents only due to Covid-19. This meant that Dylan wouldn’t be able to meet his new brother while he was in the hospital. I was devastated when I found this out as I’d felt mentally prepared for a neonatal journey where Dylan would come in every day to visit and would see what was happening and realise why his mum had suddenly disappeared. We’d talked lots about him having a new brother or sister but we hadn’t prepared him that it would be right now as we thought we had at least another month or so to go. I felt so bad as he didn’t really understand where I’d gone and why I wasn’t looking after him. He was allowed to visit me on the post natal ward so at least I could see him, although that meant leaving Harris on the unit.

Harris was born on the Sunday and on the Tuesday morning, my mum developed a cough – one of the symptoms of coronavirus. She’d been staying in the house with Mik and Dylan while I’d been in hospital. This meant that Mik and Dylan were now not allowed into the hospital at all – for 2 whole weeks. And if I went home I’d not be allowed in either, even though my mum had gone home immediately and neither Mik or Dylan had symptoms. I ended up having to stay in hospital for 2 whole weeks without seeing Dylan or Mik. It was awful. I couldn’t believe that we’d just had a baby and now our whole family was split up for 2 weeks. I had no idea how I’d be able to go 2 weeks without seeing Dylan. I’d not been away from him for more than a couple of hours until my waters broke but somehow we made it. There were lots of video calls and I cried a lot but we managed it. The nurses and doctors were great and did their best to cheer me up. One positive to the situation was that I didn’t have to go home every night and leave Harris in the hospital. I wasn’t able to have him in the room with me but at least I was only a 30 second walk from him.

Once those 2 weeks were up everything felt more bearable. Mik was allowed in to see Harris but by that point the visiting had been further restricted so only one of us could be there at a time. So while Mik was at the hospital, I went home to spend time with Dylan. Harris spent just over 5 weeks in the neonatal unit and Mik and I barely saw each other during that time. It’s not how you imagine the first weeks being after having a baby. The whole family apart and barely able to see each other. Dylan didn’t really understand what was going on but he loved having all this extra time with his Dad. He ‘met’ Harris through video chats but it just wasn’t the same as meeting him in person.

It was so stressful having a premature baby in hospital and a toddler at home. I really felt like I was having to pick between them. When we’d thought about another neonatal journey, we’d planned to make sure Dylan kept going to the same toddler groups and swimming lessons with his friends so he had some normality. Never did we imagine that the week Harris was admitted, every single one of Dylan’s activities would be cancelled and he wouldn’t even be able to see his friends. Literally everything changed for him almost overnight and I just felt so guilty. None of this would have been such a big deal if I hadn’t given birth so early.

The visiting restrictions on the unit kept changing and there were rumours that maybe only 1 parent would be allowed in for the entirety of baby’s stay, or we might be limited to 1 hour per day. Luckily this didn’t happen but I was constantly fearing the worst which only added to the stress. We did have to start wearing masks to visit and I hated not being able to sniff Harris’ lovely baby head.

It was hard seeing how upset our families were not to be able to meet Harris. While we were in the unit, I think I was just focussed on getting Harris home and trying to stop Dylan from feeling neglected but once we were all home together it really hit me that we’d all be missing out on those first few weeks together. And those weeks have now turned into months. Almost three months old and he still hasn’t met the rest of his family. It makes me want to cry every time I think about it.

We’d planned to have my mum to stay for the first few weeks to help with Dylan once Mik was back to work so I could get breastfeeding established, but obviously that hasn’t happened. Breastfeeding has once again been a major challenge for me, but I’ll write a whole other post on that at some point. While we know that the lockdown restrictions are keeping everyone safe, it’s still so hard not having the support of family and not being able to show off our new baby.

What is supposed to be a joyful experience has turned out to be the single most stressful time in our lives. We thought it was stressful when Dylan was born early and in the unit but it was nothing compared to this time. The added stress of having another child at home, the Covid-19 lockdown plus the fact that Harris needed longer in the unit made everything so much harder.

Having Harris home is amazing and we are so grateful for everything the neonatal unit did for him. They really are brilliant, especially during such a scary time. Dylan loves being a big brother and seeing him meet Harris in person was the best. He’s been so gentle and caring. While we’re enjoying our time together, it’s hard thinking about everything Harris and the extended family have missed out on and will continue to miss until this lockdown finally ends.

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